Confucius jokes, was Confucius funny?

Confucius he say – man who ashamed of ideas attributes them to others.

As a serious thinker it’s possible that Confucius may not have approved of the humour or double entendres that have been attributed to him over the years. On the other hand, given that much of his philosophy appears to have been written with a certain ‘twinkle in the eye’ it’s entirely conceivable that he would have enjoyed much of this; and there are countless examples of Confucius jokes.

Here are some examples of Confucius being funny – see what you think!

Confucius jokes:

Never forget that you are unique, like everybody else…
Man who open car door for girl friend reveal that either car or girlfriend new…
When man bring wife flowers for no reason, there usually reason…
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night….
Man with clear conscience have bad memory…
If you think that no one cares whether you’re dead or alive try missing a couple of mortgage payments…
OK for shit to happen, will decompose…
Before judging someone walk a mile in their shoes, if you no like you have their shoes and are a mile away…
Never test the depth of water with both feet…
Man who drive like hell, bound to get there…
Two wrongs don’t make right but two rights make U-turn…
He who fishes in other man’s well often catches crabs…
Those who live in glass houses should change in basement…
Rich old bachelor is man who have money to burn but no pilot light…
Man who sink into women’s arms soon have arms in women’s sink…
Making love is like being in army, the closer you are to discharge the better you feel…
If at first you don’t succeed, parachuting is not for you…
Lady who agrees to go camping must beware of evil intent…